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jon3782001 _WRITES "We've seen them all. Hanging casually around lamposts and on small
slate walls in your local area. Tastefully decked out in the latest
tracksuit bottoms that have been washed with extra Daz in order to give
them that brand new ''I'm not poor'' bright white look. Shame the
trainers and the fake Fred Perry polo shirt are caked in sweat, kebabs,
non alcoholic beer and a splash of mud. They always seem to have a
lovely eyebrow piercing, which is the one only way to lower your IQ by
90 points in about 3 seconds. A nice cap that cost far too much (or
look like it is), equally dirty looking and angled at a good 45 degrees
to allow the brain under that cheap wet look gelled hair to breath. You
know the sort, the kind who've just stepped off Jeremy Kyle.
So
what is there purpose. Seemingly, it would be to ridicule and despise
and poor passer by regardless of race, religion, gender or hair colour.
The one thing you can say about chavs in their favour is that they
treat everyone equally. Well equally poorly. Their idea of intimidation
is blurting out a flurry of four letter long expletives over and over
again with the odd chant of ''you starting'' and mock ''gangsta'' lingo
such as ''blud'' and ''safe''. No. I have many friends who are black
who are very well educated and feel no need to speak in this
unarticulate manner. It's quite poor. A popular way of ridiculing any
passer by is picking a feature and shouting it out loud. For example,
if one has ginger hair, their idea of offending you would to be shout
''ginger'' whilst taking a swig out of a cola filled White Lightning
bottle. Offensive indeed. The birds clad in their Bench Jackets and skirts up to their bottoms seem to find all this hilarious despite any distinct lack of wit or construction to their insults.
Of course when they are all out of
insults and cola white lightning, their idea of fun is to either kick a
fanta can round a concrete using two baseball caps that keep blowing
away for goalposts or resort to the monstrosity that is Bebo. Ah Bebo.
This is the site to what I believe to be the cause for Britains current
illiteracy problem. Where many young children come together to pose and
take semi naked pictures of themselves whilst spelling everything
incorrectly using ill advised and tasteless acronyms such as ''HTID''.
Many of them also claim to be in ''Hooligan Firms'' which you just
think ''No. you've seen Green Street once and threw a mates trainer at
someone who supports Man United instead of Arsenal''.
That
brings me nicely onto Boy racers. Cars. Well not cars, more kennels on
wheels. The Renault Clio for example. Thats a crap car so why not stick
an extra tonne of plastic attachments to weigh it down and affect the
perfomance even more. No. There is no need to play your latest Clubland
4 CD whilst chucking a bag of chips out of the window with the optional
McFlurry carton and Half drunk Chocolate Milkshake.
The music
on the phones is just as annoying. Lets all stand under a lampost just
as its getting dark and then play poor happy hardcore 'choonz' out of a
tinny blown out speaker on a Samsung. No.
"
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Posted by jon3782001 on (30 Reads)
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| :: Salford - Its beyond a joke now.
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salford-Ian _WRITES "What can I do to hit back at the chav culture thats taking over the country? Not a lot it would seem. So, all I can do for now is point out what goes on in the City of Salford and reasons why it should be 'deep cleaned' of the scum that is Salford Ian (read salfordian)
Firstly, the girls. They are gobby, they think that because they have tits they are grown up despite being only 14. They shout 'Pedo' at hardworking family men who work 6 days (or nights) to provide a better life for their families (and ultimately, in my case, aim to move house to a nicer area).
In fact, in the short time Ive lived in Salford Ive spotted graffiti claiming 'such a person is a baby beater / pedo / nonce) written on : -
a) a wooden fence
b) a brick wall
c) a bus stop
d) all over some poor buggers house
And to be honest, it makes me fucking sick. Especially when the high chances are... the person is innocent.
What these stupid, underage, drunken bitches dont realise is that at some point they will meet a real pedophile or rapist, and when they do they wont know. Remember the boy that cried wolf anyone? It will be too late then girls because the police wont believe you.
As for the Salford Boy's.... well.... exactly my point. Boys. Not one boy but 10 boys, on bikes, with dads and mums, causing trouble, claiming to know half of salford (I know half of liverpool... so fucking what?) and acting all big and hard. Its funny how they cry like babies when you catch them sober, on their own, about 10am in the morning. . .
Now for the older generation (not wiser), some of them feel that they are righteous mums, accusing hard working dads (like me) of child neglect because I wont let my kids 'play out' in the street (too much scum around for my liking, tried it once, but my kids got shoved around and took the piss out of).
Thing is, these mums are the same mums who have to go without food to feed their kids beans on toast for tea cos they are so skint. They proudly claim "Ill feed my kids before I feed myself!" but then instead of feeding themselves they buy tins of lager or visit the local Joseph Holts pub.
At times, Ive thought, "fuck it". Ive gone out and carved my own baseball bat out of a piece of wood and very nearly gone vigilante.
But why should I go to prison because of some stupid dick head who has nothing to lose and everything to gain by getting locked up (access to drugs, a bed and food). Im not losing my family and my freedom to see one of the motherfuckers spill his brains all over the pavement.
One day, it will happen, people will get sick of it, and some people - including myself - are getting ever closer to thinking 'doing time' will be worth it just to get the scum of my street.
Its not just Salford, its everywhere, and no one wants to admit that this all started when the government banned smacking kids at school. Bring back smacking kids. Teach the little sods some respect before its too late.
Just remember Chav Boys and Girls.... what goes around comes around and you will get yours in the end."
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Posted by salford-Ian on (30 Reads)
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WishAway _WRITES "Travel to the deepest darkest corner of Hampshire and this town is what you are greeted with; Headley Down... if the sign hasn't been mutilated that is.
Step out your car, "GET YER TITS OUT LOVE" or occasionally the word tits can be replaced by "rat" if you have a particularly bold chav. The most likely culprit for the above mentioned comments is a pre-pubescent boy with ginger hair and a turbulant relationship with cheap aftershave which always seems to smell like swimming pool mixed with washing powder?!
Having previously experienced such an incident on my travels, I have found a way to combat these little turds. I was greeted by the bolder species of chav who shouted at me in his best pretend deep voice "Get your rat aaaaaut!". Knowing that ignoring them just seems to make them even worse, I quickly turned to the offender and undid my flies. Him and his mates (all around 13 years old I reckon) looked at me with utter shock in their eyes and promptly disappeared rather sheepishly. Now either the fact I turned round and they saw my face put them off, or they got some sense and decided it was probably best to leave me alone.
Now I may have harped on about the lads of Headley Down, but don't be fooled into thinking the girls are innocent beings... ooooh no! There are two breeds of female chav that reside in this particular town; the skinny peroxide blonde with the fake uggs tucked into trackies or the fat, greasy girls squeezed into tiny tops with everything on show. Now, lets start with the skinny blondes shall we?
Fag in mouth, fake Louis Vuitton in one hand, screaming child in the other. She's successfully managed to breed and she's only 12. Where's her boyfriend I hear you ask? Well he's either in the army or she doesn't know who he is. She drags her adidas wearing sprog by its hood to the bus stop and yells at it every 10 seconds for daring to touch her bag. She is harmless, but irritating.
The larger girls (in my experience) with the hair raked back and the look of death in their eyes are the ones to watch for. You innocently brush up against them in OneStop and she spins round and glares at you. You apologise and keep your head down. You pick up your bread and milk and head for the queue, oh shit... she's there waiting for you. You try and keep your distance from her, but you just can't escape her gaze. She pays and leaves and you breathe a sigh of relief as you think the ordeal is over, but you couldn't be more wrong. Pay for your food and step outside and there she is... with 9 of her other chunky buddies. "WHY YOU BEEN HITTIN COURTNEY THEN. YOU FINK YER BETTA VAN US?! YOU STARTIN?!". You say no and apologise and head towards the car but they follow. What do you do, run them over? Ignore them!? Stones are usually thrown, then you threaten them with the car and they sod off. I would suggest to anyone who gets the glare from a girl whilst in the shop buys her a bottle of Lambrini, it'll shut her and her mates up long enough for you to make a speedy exit.
I am glad I have found a retreat in eastern England and am no longer subject to the chav force of Headley Down, I just pity all the good people who still live there who get caught up in this mess. REVOLT AGAINST THE THREE STRIPE ARMYYYYY!!"
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Posted by WishAway on (16 Reads)
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| | | .: Survey
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| | | .: Town Archive
| Sunday, August 17 | | · | Seaforth - aka Feralsville |
| · | Cowley (Chavley) Centre- A chavspotters delight! |
| · | CUFFLEY SCUFFLEY |
| · | Walsall - stay away! |
| · | Lane End and other "Ends" |
| · | Gipton - the palace of Chavdom |
| · | Doncaster - Discover The Spirit mayte! |
| · | Bollton - A Real Hole |
| · | Kirkholt, Rochdale |
| · | Newcastle Upon Tyne |
| · | Eccles, Manchester. |
| Friday, August 15 | | · | Hatfield, Hertfordshire. |
| · | Blyth, (Near Newcastle)-an update |
| Thursday, August 14 | | · | Cosham, Nr. Portsmouth |
| · | Penrhyn Bay |
| · | Blackrod -Bolton |
| · | Kingshurst- Loser capital of Solihull |
| · | thurmoooooo there breeding fast |
| · | Dublin (northside) |
| Wednesday, July 30 | | · | Boston, what a dump |
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